Darien native Wendy Ward graduated from Darien High School in 1991 and is now raising her family in town. She has two daughters—one in eight grade and another in tenth grade—and two Bernedoodles. After spending her entire career in sales, Ward became interested in mental health when her step-child suffered from an undiagnosed condition. “While we were parents who valued mental health, we didn’t know what we didn’t know about mental illness,” says Ward.
She founded futuresTHRIVE, along with a team of experts, to create an early intervention mental health screening tool for youth. fT addresses mental health as early as age 4 by using a gamified platform to identify and track mental health easily early and often in the well-child visit, where every health measure is tracked. Find out more about Ward and how she is working with Dr. Amanda Craig, Founder Manhattan MFT, to address the health and wellness needs of youth.
January 2022
Written by: Wendy Ward, Founder futuresTHRIVE and Dr. Amanda Craig, Founder Manhattan MFT
It’s a new year! After all the hustle and bustle it’s a great time focus on our health and wellness. First up, let’s talk about mental health—the key to our overall wellbeing. We just don’t talk about the importance of mental health enough. However, when we talk about mental health, we support one another and promote community wellness. And when we take care of our mental health we feel better physically, are more open to taking positive risks, feel more confident and focused, have more energy for creative outlets and are more resilient when experiencing life’s adversities. But just like physical health, our mental health lies on a continuum, and we can become “ill”. Conversely, most people worry if they talk about mental illness they will be judged, will never feel better, or worse they will be shunned. What is mental health and how do we protect ours and that of our children?
We all have mental health! Mental health is our state of psychological, emotional, and social wellbeing. It affects how we think, feel and behave. It informs how we cope with stress, influences how we see the world, enables to us tolerate our emotions that surface and impacts how we engage with others. When we are in the state of balance in our mental health, we are more patient with others, feel more gratitude for what we have, live our life based on our true authentic self. When we are experiencing mental illness, we are emotionally out of balance. We often have physical symptoms, our feelings can become big and unmanageable, we have trouble finding compassion for others, and get stuck in our thoughts – which impacts our behaviors.
Throughout life, all humans experience fluctuations in mental health. There are four things that impact our mental health:
- Over the lifespan our brain has ebbs and flow of neuro development. That is a fancy way to say there are phases of massive growth in our brain’s neuropathways and then our brain will cut back pathways under used to make the brain function more efficiently and quickly. This neural sprouting happens during the toddler years, tween year and again in our early 20s. During these times we can see genetic dispositions to mental illness become more noticeable through our feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
- When we experience new and upsetting changes in life, our mental wellness will be challenged. When we go through a break-up, transitions in life, financial distress, death of a loved one, job loss, etc etc. our mental health changes. We can become more tired, have trouble focusing, feel sad and other down feelings.
- Hormones happen during puberty and menopause, and you better believe they have an impact on our mental wellness. As our hormones change, we will notice changes in our physical health and our emotions.
- Relationships are incredibly impactful to our mental health. When we are in a good healthy relationship and feel close and connected, we are in better health, feel more confident about ourselves and have more positive energy and thoughts about life. In contrast, we our relationships are filled with conflict or distances we feel sad, physically ill, and less energized.
Symptoms to look for when our mental health is compromised:
- Disruption in sleep
- Lack of motivation
- Inability to focus, connect, or control impulses
- Loss of appetite
- Changes in personal care
- Intense worry
- Increased irritability, anger, or moodiness
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Increased stomachaches or other persistent unexplainable pains
- Disinterest in activities
To encourage mental health in our kids and teens you can do the following:
- Watch for changes in their physical behaviors. They may stem from an emotional reaction. In other words, kids may sleep more, spend more time in their room, hang with new friends that aren’t a good influence, want to study less, lie about things they didn’t before. Look for a pattern, not just a one-off.
- Ask your tween curious questions about what they think and how they see the world around them. We often want to fix it or give them the answer. Really, we when we listen to them, they feel heard and understood. They also get to practice thinking and then share their thoughts out loud. Super good life skill!
- Modeling self-care and emotional expression is key for you to be a rested parent and for kids to grow healthy habits.
- Family time is crucial for children’s development. It offers the feeling of support being part of something bigger than oneself and brings a sense of security—someone is there for me. Family time should include play, fun, and doing hard things together (racking the fall leaves, cleaning the garage).
If you or your child are struggling, most importantly help is available. Talk to your doctor, a therapist, a religious counselor or even a friend. You do not have to be alone. Getting help will make a difference.
To learn more, visit futuresTHRIVE and watch Ward’s videos from the Ignite Fire Pitch presentation explaining her mission.
https://youtu.be/3m1hjgqLXys
https://youtu.be/r88NEuuntfI