Like Kari’s daughters’, Elle and Alexandra (LMN CEO Layla Lisiewski’s daughters, shown above) are also navigating skincare and makeup.
How does someone with all the skincare and makeup knowledge in the world introduce her own daughters to the topics? Sephora is pretty much a verified rite of passage for tweens and teens these days, but it can be tricky introducing products. For one, you don’t want your daughters to think they need all this. Because the reality is, they don’t need it—and in some cases, the wrong products can be too harsh.
Kari Molvar is a former beauty editor at SELF and Allure and contributor to Vogue and T: The New York Times Style magazine, and also mom to two teenagers, Chloe and Jemma.
Recently, we asked the Greenwich, CT-based mom of two (Chloe, 14 and Jemma, 13) about how she handles skincare, Sephora and more in her home.
How is skincare and makeup different for your daughters compared to when we were kids?
Tweens and teens are sophisticated beauty consumers these days—they have access to so much more skincare and makeup advice and brands than we did growing up. I had one store I could shop at: CVS! They have so many options online and in-person, from niche boutiques to Amazon. Also the explosion of interest in beauty has led to some pretty great innovations in technology and ingredients so the products—concealer, lip gloss, suncreen, shampoo—are way better than what we had growing up. I did my best with clumpy mascara and streaky foundation! My girls don’t know how good they have it today!
Love those positives! What does their routine like?
How much time do you have?! Their routines are too elaborate to fully spell out. But they each have their “thing” that they focus on. For my youngest, she’s really into her lashes and eyeliner. She layers two different types mascaras to get nice full and thick lashes, which is a backstage makeup artist trick that I didn’t teach her: She picked up on her own. (We go through a lot of tubes of Maybelline’s Sky High and Push-Up mascaras). My oldest daughter’s thing is her hair: It’s incredibly long—past her butt. She is religious about applying Moroccan Oil Leave-In Conditioner, and at $32 for a tiny bottle, this is an expensive commitment. Both of my girls sleep with their hair in silk bonnets, which is really funny to witness. They look like little old ladies going to bed but I have to say, the bonnets protect their hair so it’s very smooth and tangle-free the next day.
Do you shop at Sephora with them? What products have they used and how did you decide what they should use?
Yes, I shop at Sephora with them—at the Greenwich, CT location, the crowd is mostly moms shopping for their daughters (forget buying serums and fancy body mists for ourselves). Occasionally they will ask my opinion on lip and concealer shades but they mostly pick their own products. Today’s formulas are much safer than what I had growing up in the ’90s so I don’t worry too much about ingredients. If anything, I just find myself explaining how products work—fine hair doesn’t need a heavy scalp serum, for example, or caster oil will not give you thicker lashes in two days.
What do you say when they want something you don’t want to buy?
My youngest likes to shop A LOT so I decided to give her a set budget every month. She can decide how to spend it or if she wants to save it. That’s helped. For other splurges, that’s what birthdays and holidays are for. My oldest wanted the Dyson Airwrap for years and I finally broke down and bought it as a gift. I also tell them during shopping trips to choose just one thing and “think about” the others for a couple of days. If they still really want that lip liner a week later, then they can spend their money on it, but this helps eliminate impulse purchases in the moment.
How do you try to introduce makeup in a way that feels healthy and additive—not a need.
I’ve never talked about makeup as a cover-up or a “fix” for a flaw of my own, so I think that sets a healthy message. Makeup is about experimenting and self-expression, it’s about just having fun with a look or trend.
Do you talk to them about the beauty influencers on social media and how it’s not reality?
Social media isn’t a reality and I’m constantly trying to get them off their devices yet I understand that this is how they communicate and bond over things like makeup and skincare. At the same time, I try to instill some reality and skepticism around influencers and the products they talk about—for example, if you drink this certain supplement, your hair will grow longer and thicker. I tell them, okay, let’s ask your dermatologist and see what she says! From having written about beauty, and especially skincare, for decades, I can tell them that certain products are just hype and others have actual science behind them. I like to think my advice sinks in a little!
Anything else you’d like to share on this topic?
It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: This generation loves sunscreen and they will have beautiful skin when they’re our age. They might be broke from buying a million products, but it’ll be worth it! Also, I give my daughters credit because they try a lot of products but they really do come back to the classics. Benefit Benetint for blush and a lip stain, Nars concealer in a pot, Charlotte Tilbury setting spray. In some ways, a great product is a great product, no matter your age.
Read more from Kari on the Local Moms Network: